The Lord In His Wisdom

Last night I went on a relaxing bike ride to the lake with my friend, Jen.  As we got nearer to the lake we turned on a road that wove through gorgeous, stretching fields of farm land.  The sun was starting to set, and the lighting created quite the picturesque scene for us.   

As I looked around to enjoy it, I was startled by a fly flying right into my eye.  When I opened my mouth to exclaim my discomfort, another little bug took the opportunity to fly right in.  Then three more hit my arms.  Soon we were getting pelted by little fly bugs.  Squinting and spitting, we rode blindly on, trying to reach our destination.  In hindsight, this wasn't such a smart idea, as we then had to ride back through all those bugs once again, but we were determined!  

While riding, I just kept thinking, "Stupid bugs.  Why are they flying on the road?  If they stuck to the fields, those thousands that I just hit and killed would still be alive."  Moral of the story, you all should be thanking me for my work in fly population control. 

My grandpa used to frequently quote the following poem.  I agree wholeheartedly with it.

The Lord in his wisdom made the fly, 

and then he forgot to tell us why.

Stories From the Weekend

Sometimes I find myself going months without having any funny notable stories to share.  Months!  This past weekend I had five.  Because of the influx of stories, I decided I just had to share them.

On Friday I was sitting at a park, talking to my dear sister, Cassidy.  I was lying on my back with my eyes closed when I sensed someone had walked up to me and stopped.  I cracked an eye open and saw a boy around the age of 8, standing there looking at me.  He asked if I wanted candy, to which I kindly declined. He replied, "Ok," but then started to bend down towards me as if to still give me some candy.  Instead of candy though, I got a snail placed on my elbow.  And then the boy was off and running toward all his other friends.  He caught me by surprise, but if I ever seem little Timmy again, he's going down.

That same day, I went to the Orem CityFest with my friends.  We waited in line for 45 minutes to an hour to ride the Ferris Wheel that they had there.  When we finally got on, I started to get sick after only going two times around. Yes, on a Ferris Wheel.

Saturday I'm sitting at the Spanish Fork Reservoir with some friends.  We'd just gone swimming with our floating noodles and now we were drying off in the sun.  These 4 Mexican men (nationality important as they did not speak English) walked past us and settled down on the other side of us.  I was reading a book when mayhem suddenly broke out among the Mexicans.  They were shouting things in Spanish and thrashing about in the water.  I said to my friends, "Um.. I think they're drowning."  My friends assured me that they were just joking around. One of the Mexicans started to grab onto his friend's head.  .  I got up to help them, but my friends called me back, saying they were most likely joking around.  After a little bit longer of this I held up the noodle and asked if they wanted it, to which they frantically nodded yes.  I ran there and threw the guy the noodle and he latched onto it, gasping for air.  Saved a life.  They didn't even thank me.  I about turned around and yelled de nada at them.  Also, who on earth decides to go swimming when you can't swim? Not that I'm judging.

Later that night, we went to play volleyball at my friend's grandparent's house in Alpine. On the first play of the game I dove to get the ball.  While diving, I felt something and slightly heard something rip.  I got up and was all, "Oh hey, I'm just going to use the restroom real quick."  Went in to investigate, and my pants had ripped. SIlver lining of the occasion was that the rip wasn't really visible, so at least no one got a view of my underwear.

On Monday (yes, I realize it doesn't classify as the weekend), the little boys were back for more.  I didn't realize it was the same group of boys until they started chanting, "Who's that, who's that, who's that with the book." I ignored them.  Right when I was about to leave, I heard one of them run up behind me.  He shouted, "You're cute," and ran away laughing.  Looks like I have a little fan club.  Again I was shocked so my threats for little Timmy were empty.  But next time, I'm tackling him and giving him a wedgie.

Making It Rain Food

A couple of months ago my coworker had her birthday.  During her birthday week, I traveled with her to all these different restaurants so that she could get free food that she had signed up for.  Up to this point, I had, had no idea you could get that much food just for having a birthday. Naturally, I immediately went home and signed up for all the free food as well.

When my birthday week came, all the emails full for free food started piling in.   I was VERY excited.  It started out nice, as I just went during my lunch break to some of the smaller things that I got for free.  Then the free food just started to pour in, thanks to other occasions such as my sister's graduation and dinner group.  I could not keep up with all the free food.  At one point during the week I had Cafe Rio, Red Robin, Chiles, and Firehouse Sub in my fridge, and had plans to go out to eat at least three more times.  First world birthday problems; they're real.

On my actual birthday, the most ridiculous moment of getting free food happened.  I went to Red Robin with my friends so that I could use my free burger coupon and not have my friends pay for me (I'm such a good friend, I know).  My roommate, Nanette, used to work there, so she hooked us up with some free appetizers for my birthday.  Free food again!  It gets better though.  The waitress came over to put the appetizers on the table, and her hand slipped.  The appetizers, along with all different types of sauce went all over my friend sitting right next to me.  She had it dripping down her hair and all over her clothes.  A couple of drops of fry sauce also landed on my skirt, but with the fry sauce dripping off of my friend, I didn't dare complain.  Then the manger of Red Robin rushed out to apologize, telling us that they were going to comp the meals for the three of us "hit" by any of the sauces or food, and they'd pay for any dry cleaning that needed to be done.  And if that wasn't nice enough, they told me they'd throw in a free dessert for my birthday.  I'm sure by friend would've rather not had to deal with all the sauce dripping down her, but it was a good deal for me!  Although, it did mean I would need to return once more to Red Robin within the next week.

Moral of the story, it is possible to get too much free food and to get sick of eating out.  Other moral of the story, one of the easiest ways to get free food is by going to a restaurant in some grungy clothes, "accidentally" tripping a waitress/waiter, while simultaneously getting the food spilled on you.  It's fool proof!  Unless the restaurant isn't as awesome as Red Robin, in which case, you just managed to get your grungy clothes even more grungy looking.

Sidenotes from my birthday:

1.  Nanette is seriously the greatest.  I woke up to an amazing breakfast and a table covered in sticky notes that had nice things about me written on them.

This is Nanette.  She is a saint.  

2.  Apparently I'm the new cyber cat lady.  For my birthday I had 9 different cat pictures either posted on my facebook wall or emailed to me, 3 weird interesting exercising with cat videos emailed to me, and 1 cat pen given to me as a gift.  While I'm a little concerned my secret has gotten out, I've embraced all things cat.
How can you not love something like this?
 

3.  I have really great friends and family who made my birthday wonderful this year.  Here's to another year!

The girl on the far left is the one who had the fry sauce land on her

Boston's Top 10 and Not So Top 8

About two weeks ago I got to visit my sister Shelby, and my BIL, Brandon, in Boston.  What a dream Boston was. Because there were so many awesome things that happened on this trip I decided to compound it into a list of the Top 10 and Not So Top 8 (I couldn't think of 10 bad things).  Beware, you are about to be bombarded by a lot of pictures. 

TOP 10

10. Shopping at a bomb Second hand store - no pictures, but man did I find some killer deals.  And by killer I just mean that I really like some of the clothes and the prices were pretty decent.

9. Boston Temple - I got to check one more temple off the list of temples I've been to.  Brings me all the way up to 21 out of 141..  I just realized that's not very many.  And to think I live in both the state with the most temples, and the city with the most temples.

8.  Visiting Louisa May Allcott's, Ralph Waldo Emerson's, and  Henry Thoreau's stomping grounds - Shelby surprised me by taking me to the house where Little Women was written.  We were both giddy as we walked around the property since we both love that movie and book.  I've always compared it to our family, even though we have 1 more girl than they did (also 4 more boys, but that's besides the point).  I believe this was also a house that Ralph Waldo Emerson lived in for a little bit.  That same day, we also went to Walden Pond where Mr. Thoreau decided to camp out for 2 years.  I can see why, as it really was a beautiful place.  

7. Concord - Turns out that even though I loved history in High School, I've managed to forget most of it.  Going to Concord and reading up on all the facts about Old North Bridge and the "shot heard around the world" was like reliving my high school days in history class.  Very beautiful place and it was fun teaching my nephew, Daxton to play pooh sticks on one of the most famous bridges in America's history.  

6. USS Constitution and Ferry Ride - This was actually our first stop along the Freedom Trail, and it certainly was a good way to start off!  There was more famous history to be seen as we looked (details on why we just looked below) at the USS Constitution and read about everything that the ship was involved with.  We couldn't have chosen a better day to be out on the wharf skipping rocks.  The USS Constitution Museum was also really cool.  It was here we found out that Mr. Daxton is meant to be a sailor as he pulled a baaing goat onto a ship, swung in a hammock, and raised a sail to try and catch the wind.   We also got to take to the seas ourselves as we climbed aboard a ferry and rode over to the north end of Boston.  

5.  Pretending to be a Harvard Student - I visited Harvard all by myself and tried my best to fit it.  It was a thrill to hit up the bookstore, and then take a tour around campus (Luckily I ran right into a tour group as I wasn't sure where to go to find said tour).  After getting my fair share of this scholarly place, I managed to find the public transport system and make my way back home (thanks to Brandon's precise directions on where to get off).

4. North End of Boston -  I loved the feel of the North End of Boston.  The buildings were fun and the streets were cobbled.  While here we saw Paul Revere's statue, the  Old North Church, ate some delicious pizza from Ernesto's, and got a world famous cannoli from Mike's Pastry.  My mouth is seriously still watering thinking about that cannoli.

  
3.  Center of Boston - On Saturday, Brandon was the tour guide.  We wandered our way over to the Boston Commons, a beautiful sprawling park.  Along the way, we passed famous places like Quincy Marketplace, Faneuil Hall, and the Oyster House (which is the oldest restaurant in the US).  The old buildings next to the big skyscrapers created a really fun feel and I was kind of in love with the white blossoming trees.  

2. MAINE - I've kind of had an obsession with Maine for the past couple of years and have a secret desire to someday live there.  Brandon and Shelby were kind enough to take me there for a visit.  After visiting I can honestly say that Maine is just as amazing and beautiful as I had imagined it to be.  We stopped at the Nubble Lighthouse, the most photographed lighthouse in the world, and it was perfect.  It was very cold and windy on the rocks overlooking the lighthouse.  Even though I hate wind more than anything else, this wind just seemed to add to the perfectness of it all.

We then headed to the decently warm beach where we played in the sand and water (first time touching the Atlantic ocean!).  I also showed Shelby that while she used to hold the title as strongest girl in the family, the title now belongs to me.  We then strolled through the quaint little town where most of the shops were closed except for one little ice cream shop where were able to get ice cream.  What a good day.

1. Getting to hang out with the coolest family ever -  I was so glad that I was able to hang out with Shelby and Brandon and experience where they live.  A big thank you to the both of them for being such amazing hosts and tour guides.  It was definitely a trip to remember.

I just realized I had zero pictures that I took with/of Brandon.  My bad. I still loved hanging out with you Brandon. 

Not So Top 8 

8. Being chastised while on a tour - During my tour at Harvard, I foolishly asked what one of the buildings was called.  Turns out, it was a pretty famous library   My tour guide acted like I was kind of dumb for not knowing what it was.  You couldn't even go into it unless you're a Harvard student, so I felt justified on not knowing what it was.  Also, a bathroom was impossible to find at this place.  I think I wandered around for a good 30 minutes trying to find one.
7. "Donations" We decided to hit up 2 "free" places.   I put parentheses around the free because they like to ask you for a donation when you come in, and let you know how much you should be giving.  Here's my thought, if it's a donation, shouldn't I be able to choose how much I give?  

6. USS Constitution was closed - We couldn't actually go on the famous ship due to reconstruction - bummer.  Especially for Shelby who has now visited their twice and has yet to set foot on the ship.

5. Cold Pizza - Not a huge deal but when we ate at Ernesto's and our pizza was cold.  If that's what you're famous for, your pizza should be steaming hot, just saying.
4. $10 tour for Little Women House - Shelby and I were BEYOND excited to see the place where little women was written.  Turns out it cost $10 for the tour of this tiny little house.  With two children in tow, that was not happening.

3. Chicago Airport - This place kind of hated me.  Every flight in and out of this airport got delayed by an average of 1.5 hours.  And no one decided to mention that our planes were delayed until it was time to board.  Talk about a panic attack.  A special thank you to both my dad and Brandon for picking me up at such late hours.
2. Too Little Time - A week just wasn't long enough.  Before I knew it I was heading back to the airport to fly home again.  I miss my two little nephews as well as my sister and BIL.  Work just isn't as exciting as hanging out with all of you.

1. Lockdown in Boston - this was a negative mostly because of all the events that happened this week.  It was a crazy time to be over there and although I was never super close to anything that happened, it was still very sad to see people crying and hugging next to the memorial for those who died or were injured.

Playing Pranks Terrifies Me

I have a love/hate relationship with April Fool's Day.  I love the idea of playing pranks, but hate having pranks played on me.  I can still remember a horrible prank my mom played on me when I was about 6 or 7 years old.  My mom put a rubber band around the sprayer and told me to clean out my lunch box.  Being the obedient child I was I immediately went to clean it out.  When I inevitably got soaked, I ran away sobbing from the embarrassment and from the shock of getting sprayed after doing something good.  I attribute my dislike of cleaning through my teenage years to that very moment.  Turns out joke was on you mom!

I digress..  Because of all these jokes my mom played on me, my main goal on April Fool's day was and still is, to prank her.  And I can guarantee you that most of my siblings feel the same way.  That woman is either very confident or a bit crazy to get that many people angry at her.  I like to think that my tendency to be boring on April Fool's Day comes about from my instinct to avoid being a target for prank playing.

This April Fool's looked to be like another typical, boring, college life one (boring because I no longer live with my mom, and therefore she can't really prank me).  However, that night my two roommates informed me that they would not be coming to FHE, because they wanted to go to the movies.  Bad move on their part.  Thing is, I'm the mom of my FHE group, and as such, get to choose what we do.  Once everyone gathered I informed them there'd been a slight change in activities.  Instead of playing telephone pictionary, we'd be pranking these girls.  One of them came up with the brilliant idea of suran wrapping the car they took to the movies.  So that's just what we did.

Once the job was completed, I began to realize the foolishness of my actions.  I was the one that lived with these two people, therefore I'd be the only one they'd target.  Terrified, I took cover at a friend's house.  When I needed to go to bed, I nervously entered my house and found my two roommates in my room.  They started chatting with me as if nothing was amiss.  Suspicious, I began to look around my room to make sure nothing was out of place.  Then my roommate said that she had forgotten it was April Fool's until she saw someone's car suran wrapped in the parking lot at the movies.  Very much confused at the game they were playing, I played along and didn't say anything about the fact that I knew it was actually their car that had been suran wrapped.

Soon they left to talk outside my room.  After triple checking my bed to make sure nothing was there, I finally climbed into it. I was still very nervous and went to sleep with one eye open that night.  Next morning, while getting ready, I opened my closet and found the suran wrap remnants stuffed in there.  And to think I lost sleep over that.  I think they knew about my fear of retaliation and were trying to scare me.  Punks.  Moral of the story, it's never worth it to play pranks, unless you know you're playing them against non-creative people such as my two roommates.  If you've got a person in your life like my mom, you should probably just avoid all contact until the day is over.

Inspirational Thought For the Day

"Even if you fall on your face, you're still moving forward."

         -Victor Kiam

I was in charge of sending out the motivational thought for the work and was pretty tempted to email this to everyone..  I ended up opting for something a bit more appropriate and classy.  Still had to share with someone, so you're welcome.  This video makes me laugh every.. single.. time.  No matter how many times I watch it.  And in case you're worried about the cat, don't worry he ends up being fine.

P.S. Shout out to Tanner for finding the stellar quote!

Life as a Lock Jawed Woman.

Last Sunday night I decided to be ultra prepared and get all my food ready for the next day at work. This included breakfast, lunch, and all snacks.  Now normally I'd have snacks to eat at work, but due to a little mouse problem that hadn't yet been resolved, we were asked to take all food home.

Monday morning I awoke to sunlight streaming through the windows  As daylight savings had occurred I instantly knew something was up as it should have been dark.  I jumped out of bed and saw that it was 8:11.  Did I mention that I'm supposed to be to work at 8?  I got ready in lightning speed and rushed out the door.  I was very pleased when I managed to clock in at 8:34, but upon settling I realized I had forgotten all my food. Already starving I knew it was going to a long wait until lunchtime.

I didn't have time to get food on my lunch break that day (ironic I know),  and ran to Subway when I had the chance that day around 2. The kind man at the counter asked if I'd like any sauce on it.  Thinking a little ranch would taste good, I asked him to put a tiny bit on.  He shook the bottle, squeezed it, and SPLAT a huge mound of ranch is now on the sandwich.  Before I could stop him he shakes his head, squeezes again, and sent another huge mound of ranch onto my sandwich. Not having much time, I just paid for the sandwich and left.

When I arrived back at work, I went to take the first bite and found, to my dismay, that I couldn't fit my mouth over my sandwich.  Now might be the time to mention that my jaw hadn't been able to open for about 3 weeks, due to a joint issue.  Being completely famished, I just started to basically shove the sandwich in my mouth without caring if I got it all over my face.  Had any one seen me and commented I probably would have gone all Chris Farley on them.

But for real, I would have.  The sandwich was quite gross due to the obscene amount of ranch on it, but at least I was no longer close to blacking out.  And on the bright side of things my jaw finally opened again yesterday!  I've been shoving large bites of food in to my heart's content.  You just don't appreciate the simple things like opening your mouth until you are unable to do so.