Making It Rain Food

A couple of months ago my coworker had her birthday.  During her birthday week, I traveled with her to all these different restaurants so that she could get free food that she had signed up for.  Up to this point, I had, had no idea you could get that much food just for having a birthday. Naturally, I immediately went home and signed up for all the free food as well.

When my birthday week came, all the emails full for free food started piling in.   I was VERY excited.  It started out nice, as I just went during my lunch break to some of the smaller things that I got for free.  Then the free food just started to pour in, thanks to other occasions such as my sister's graduation and dinner group.  I could not keep up with all the free food.  At one point during the week I had Cafe Rio, Red Robin, Chiles, and Firehouse Sub in my fridge, and had plans to go out to eat at least three more times.  First world birthday problems; they're real.

On my actual birthday, the most ridiculous moment of getting free food happened.  I went to Red Robin with my friends so that I could use my free burger coupon and not have my friends pay for me (I'm such a good friend, I know).  My roommate, Nanette, used to work there, so she hooked us up with some free appetizers for my birthday.  Free food again!  It gets better though.  The waitress came over to put the appetizers on the table, and her hand slipped.  The appetizers, along with all different types of sauce went all over my friend sitting right next to me.  She had it dripping down her hair and all over her clothes.  A couple of drops of fry sauce also landed on my skirt, but with the fry sauce dripping off of my friend, I didn't dare complain.  Then the manger of Red Robin rushed out to apologize, telling us that they were going to comp the meals for the three of us "hit" by any of the sauces or food, and they'd pay for any dry cleaning that needed to be done.  And if that wasn't nice enough, they told me they'd throw in a free dessert for my birthday.  I'm sure by friend would've rather not had to deal with all the sauce dripping down her, but it was a good deal for me!  Although, it did mean I would need to return once more to Red Robin within the next week.

Moral of the story, it is possible to get too much free food and to get sick of eating out.  Other moral of the story, one of the easiest ways to get free food is by going to a restaurant in some grungy clothes, "accidentally" tripping a waitress/waiter, while simultaneously getting the food spilled on you.  It's fool proof!  Unless the restaurant isn't as awesome as Red Robin, in which case, you just managed to get your grungy clothes even more grungy looking.

Sidenotes from my birthday:

1.  Nanette is seriously the greatest.  I woke up to an amazing breakfast and a table covered in sticky notes that had nice things about me written on them.

This is Nanette.  She is a saint.  

2.  Apparently I'm the new cyber cat lady.  For my birthday I had 9 different cat pictures either posted on my facebook wall or emailed to me, 3 weird interesting exercising with cat videos emailed to me, and 1 cat pen given to me as a gift.  While I'm a little concerned my secret has gotten out, I've embraced all things cat.
How can you not love something like this?
 

3.  I have really great friends and family who made my birthday wonderful this year.  Here's to another year!

The girl on the far left is the one who had the fry sauce land on her

Boston's Top 10 and Not So Top 8

About two weeks ago I got to visit my sister Shelby, and my BIL, Brandon, in Boston.  What a dream Boston was. Because there were so many awesome things that happened on this trip I decided to compound it into a list of the Top 10 and Not So Top 8 (I couldn't think of 10 bad things).  Beware, you are about to be bombarded by a lot of pictures. 

TOP 10

10. Shopping at a bomb Second hand store - no pictures, but man did I find some killer deals.  And by killer I just mean that I really like some of the clothes and the prices were pretty decent.

9. Boston Temple - I got to check one more temple off the list of temples I've been to.  Brings me all the way up to 21 out of 141..  I just realized that's not very many.  And to think I live in both the state with the most temples, and the city with the most temples.

8.  Visiting Louisa May Allcott's, Ralph Waldo Emerson's, and  Henry Thoreau's stomping grounds - Shelby surprised me by taking me to the house where Little Women was written.  We were both giddy as we walked around the property since we both love that movie and book.  I've always compared it to our family, even though we have 1 more girl than they did (also 4 more boys, but that's besides the point).  I believe this was also a house that Ralph Waldo Emerson lived in for a little bit.  That same day, we also went to Walden Pond where Mr. Thoreau decided to camp out for 2 years.  I can see why, as it really was a beautiful place.  

7. Concord - Turns out that even though I loved history in High School, I've managed to forget most of it.  Going to Concord and reading up on all the facts about Old North Bridge and the "shot heard around the world" was like reliving my high school days in history class.  Very beautiful place and it was fun teaching my nephew, Daxton to play pooh sticks on one of the most famous bridges in America's history.  

6. USS Constitution and Ferry Ride - This was actually our first stop along the Freedom Trail, and it certainly was a good way to start off!  There was more famous history to be seen as we looked (details on why we just looked below) at the USS Constitution and read about everything that the ship was involved with.  We couldn't have chosen a better day to be out on the wharf skipping rocks.  The USS Constitution Museum was also really cool.  It was here we found out that Mr. Daxton is meant to be a sailor as he pulled a baaing goat onto a ship, swung in a hammock, and raised a sail to try and catch the wind.   We also got to take to the seas ourselves as we climbed aboard a ferry and rode over to the north end of Boston.  

5.  Pretending to be a Harvard Student - I visited Harvard all by myself and tried my best to fit it.  It was a thrill to hit up the bookstore, and then take a tour around campus (Luckily I ran right into a tour group as I wasn't sure where to go to find said tour).  After getting my fair share of this scholarly place, I managed to find the public transport system and make my way back home (thanks to Brandon's precise directions on where to get off).

4. North End of Boston -  I loved the feel of the North End of Boston.  The buildings were fun and the streets were cobbled.  While here we saw Paul Revere's statue, the  Old North Church, ate some delicious pizza from Ernesto's, and got a world famous cannoli from Mike's Pastry.  My mouth is seriously still watering thinking about that cannoli.

  
3.  Center of Boston - On Saturday, Brandon was the tour guide.  We wandered our way over to the Boston Commons, a beautiful sprawling park.  Along the way, we passed famous places like Quincy Marketplace, Faneuil Hall, and the Oyster House (which is the oldest restaurant in the US).  The old buildings next to the big skyscrapers created a really fun feel and I was kind of in love with the white blossoming trees.  

2. MAINE - I've kind of had an obsession with Maine for the past couple of years and have a secret desire to someday live there.  Brandon and Shelby were kind enough to take me there for a visit.  After visiting I can honestly say that Maine is just as amazing and beautiful as I had imagined it to be.  We stopped at the Nubble Lighthouse, the most photographed lighthouse in the world, and it was perfect.  It was very cold and windy on the rocks overlooking the lighthouse.  Even though I hate wind more than anything else, this wind just seemed to add to the perfectness of it all.

We then headed to the decently warm beach where we played in the sand and water (first time touching the Atlantic ocean!).  I also showed Shelby that while she used to hold the title as strongest girl in the family, the title now belongs to me.  We then strolled through the quaint little town where most of the shops were closed except for one little ice cream shop where were able to get ice cream.  What a good day.

1. Getting to hang out with the coolest family ever -  I was so glad that I was able to hang out with Shelby and Brandon and experience where they live.  A big thank you to the both of them for being such amazing hosts and tour guides.  It was definitely a trip to remember.

I just realized I had zero pictures that I took with/of Brandon.  My bad. I still loved hanging out with you Brandon. 

Not So Top 8 

8. Being chastised while on a tour - During my tour at Harvard, I foolishly asked what one of the buildings was called.  Turns out, it was a pretty famous library   My tour guide acted like I was kind of dumb for not knowing what it was.  You couldn't even go into it unless you're a Harvard student, so I felt justified on not knowing what it was.  Also, a bathroom was impossible to find at this place.  I think I wandered around for a good 30 minutes trying to find one.
7. "Donations" We decided to hit up 2 "free" places.   I put parentheses around the free because they like to ask you for a donation when you come in, and let you know how much you should be giving.  Here's my thought, if it's a donation, shouldn't I be able to choose how much I give?  

6. USS Constitution was closed - We couldn't actually go on the famous ship due to reconstruction - bummer.  Especially for Shelby who has now visited their twice and has yet to set foot on the ship.

5. Cold Pizza - Not a huge deal but when we ate at Ernesto's and our pizza was cold.  If that's what you're famous for, your pizza should be steaming hot, just saying.
4. $10 tour for Little Women House - Shelby and I were BEYOND excited to see the place where little women was written.  Turns out it cost $10 for the tour of this tiny little house.  With two children in tow, that was not happening.

3. Chicago Airport - This place kind of hated me.  Every flight in and out of this airport got delayed by an average of 1.5 hours.  And no one decided to mention that our planes were delayed until it was time to board.  Talk about a panic attack.  A special thank you to both my dad and Brandon for picking me up at such late hours.
2. Too Little Time - A week just wasn't long enough.  Before I knew it I was heading back to the airport to fly home again.  I miss my two little nephews as well as my sister and BIL.  Work just isn't as exciting as hanging out with all of you.

1. Lockdown in Boston - this was a negative mostly because of all the events that happened this week.  It was a crazy time to be over there and although I was never super close to anything that happened, it was still very sad to see people crying and hugging next to the memorial for those who died or were injured.

Playing Pranks Terrifies Me

I have a love/hate relationship with April Fool's Day.  I love the idea of playing pranks, but hate having pranks played on me.  I can still remember a horrible prank my mom played on me when I was about 6 or 7 years old.  My mom put a rubber band around the sprayer and told me to clean out my lunch box.  Being the obedient child I was I immediately went to clean it out.  When I inevitably got soaked, I ran away sobbing from the embarrassment and from the shock of getting sprayed after doing something good.  I attribute my dislike of cleaning through my teenage years to that very moment.  Turns out joke was on you mom!

I digress..  Because of all these jokes my mom played on me, my main goal on April Fool's day was and still is, to prank her.  And I can guarantee you that most of my siblings feel the same way.  That woman is either very confident or a bit crazy to get that many people angry at her.  I like to think that my tendency to be boring on April Fool's Day comes about from my instinct to avoid being a target for prank playing.

This April Fool's looked to be like another typical, boring, college life one (boring because I no longer live with my mom, and therefore she can't really prank me).  However, that night my two roommates informed me that they would not be coming to FHE, because they wanted to go to the movies.  Bad move on their part.  Thing is, I'm the mom of my FHE group, and as such, get to choose what we do.  Once everyone gathered I informed them there'd been a slight change in activities.  Instead of playing telephone pictionary, we'd be pranking these girls.  One of them came up with the brilliant idea of suran wrapping the car they took to the movies.  So that's just what we did.

Once the job was completed, I began to realize the foolishness of my actions.  I was the one that lived with these two people, therefore I'd be the only one they'd target.  Terrified, I took cover at a friend's house.  When I needed to go to bed, I nervously entered my house and found my two roommates in my room.  They started chatting with me as if nothing was amiss.  Suspicious, I began to look around my room to make sure nothing was out of place.  Then my roommate said that she had forgotten it was April Fool's until she saw someone's car suran wrapped in the parking lot at the movies.  Very much confused at the game they were playing, I played along and didn't say anything about the fact that I knew it was actually their car that had been suran wrapped.

Soon they left to talk outside my room.  After triple checking my bed to make sure nothing was there, I finally climbed into it. I was still very nervous and went to sleep with one eye open that night.  Next morning, while getting ready, I opened my closet and found the suran wrap remnants stuffed in there.  And to think I lost sleep over that.  I think they knew about my fear of retaliation and were trying to scare me.  Punks.  Moral of the story, it's never worth it to play pranks, unless you know you're playing them against non-creative people such as my two roommates.  If you've got a person in your life like my mom, you should probably just avoid all contact until the day is over.

Inspirational Thought For the Day

"Even if you fall on your face, you're still moving forward."

         -Victor Kiam

I was in charge of sending out the motivational thought for the work and was pretty tempted to email this to everyone..  I ended up opting for something a bit more appropriate and classy.  Still had to share with someone, so you're welcome.  This video makes me laugh every.. single.. time.  No matter how many times I watch it.  And in case you're worried about the cat, don't worry he ends up being fine.

P.S. Shout out to Tanner for finding the stellar quote!

Life as a Lock Jawed Woman.

Last Sunday night I decided to be ultra prepared and get all my food ready for the next day at work. This included breakfast, lunch, and all snacks.  Now normally I'd have snacks to eat at work, but due to a little mouse problem that hadn't yet been resolved, we were asked to take all food home.

Monday morning I awoke to sunlight streaming through the windows  As daylight savings had occurred I instantly knew something was up as it should have been dark.  I jumped out of bed and saw that it was 8:11.  Did I mention that I'm supposed to be to work at 8?  I got ready in lightning speed and rushed out the door.  I was very pleased when I managed to clock in at 8:34, but upon settling I realized I had forgotten all my food. Already starving I knew it was going to a long wait until lunchtime.

I didn't have time to get food on my lunch break that day (ironic I know),  and ran to Subway when I had the chance that day around 2. The kind man at the counter asked if I'd like any sauce on it.  Thinking a little ranch would taste good, I asked him to put a tiny bit on.  He shook the bottle, squeezed it, and SPLAT a huge mound of ranch is now on the sandwich.  Before I could stop him he shakes his head, squeezes again, and sent another huge mound of ranch onto my sandwich. Not having much time, I just paid for the sandwich and left.

When I arrived back at work, I went to take the first bite and found, to my dismay, that I couldn't fit my mouth over my sandwich.  Now might be the time to mention that my jaw hadn't been able to open for about 3 weeks, due to a joint issue.  Being completely famished, I just started to basically shove the sandwich in my mouth without caring if I got it all over my face.  Had any one seen me and commented I probably would have gone all Chris Farley on them.

But for real, I would have.  The sandwich was quite gross due to the obscene amount of ranch on it, but at least I was no longer close to blacking out.  And on the bright side of things my jaw finally opened again yesterday!  I've been shoving large bites of food in to my heart's content.  You just don't appreciate the simple things like opening your mouth until you are unable to do so.

Viva Las Vegas!

It's been quite awhile since I've last left Provo and gone on a little vacation.  So even though my work doesn't like to observe such glorious holidays as President's Day, I decided to take the day off and head to Vegas with a group of friends.  I'm sure that's what the presidents would've wanted me to do.

As per usual I was a bit underwhelmed by Vegas itself.   However, you know what didn't underwhelm?  The car rides to and from Vegas.  What can I say, I love me some car trip bonding time.  On the car ride there we had some.. interesting stories about people's love life that made for hilarious entertainment.  On the way back we got stuck in traffic for an hour because of 3 accidents.  Of course, we just decided it was the perfect opportunity to have a major dance party right there on the highway. And by 'dance party' I mean that we flailed our arms and went crazy in our car listening to fine tunes created by the Biebs himself.

Sidenote: At one of our stops on the way to Vegas I found a globe.  This reminded me of a wonderful game I used to play with my sisters. In said game, we'd ask the globe where we were born, where we were getting married, and where we were going to die .  Since all of who went on the trip were eligible bachelors/bachelorettes we decided to ask where are future husbands/wives would be found.  I think I'm finding mine somewhere in Taiwan. But somehow I've already managed to forget that vital piece of information.  

Vegas ended up being wonderful, mostly because of the glorious 70 degree weather.  It was a great break from the never ending mounds of ice and snow found in Provo. When we arrived, we took some much needed time to just bask in the sun's rays and lay on the grass since we hadn't really seen so much as a blade of grass for quite awhile.

Yeah, that grass felt good.

We then chose to go directly to the red rocks, as that's what most of us were most excited to do.  We weren't there for nearly long enough, since we arrived at 3 and for some silly reason the park closed at 5.  We made the most of those two hours and were tempted to stay, until rumors began flying about the fines one could accrue if one were to overstay his or her welcome.  Thus, we dutifully left.

                   

                                                                       This is what happened when I told my friend to get in the picture

 Other then the red rocks we basically just enjoyed each other's company, ate good food, and managed to hit the strip once.  Our primary purpose in going to the strip was to see the Bellagio Fountains.  We did manage this, but unfortunately, we were pretty far away.  After that fail we went to a buffet at the Luxor hotel.  It was disgusting.  Another fail for the strip.  Irony of the weekend was getting this fortune from my fortune cookie at the buffet.

Did I mention I was in Vegas where people overspend like crazy with their gambling?  What happened to the, 'you're going to stumble upon a lot of money'.  What's strange is this fortune seems to have exacted some sort of power over me. I actually had to force myself to buy groceries the other day.  Groceries!  Oh well, if you need me I'll just be dumpster diving for scraps of food in order to survive.

Sara Smith's Conscience

I pulled a prank 3 years ago.  A prank that will go down in infamy for how awesome it was.  Recently the prankee decided to blog about it and in the process got some crucial details wrong.  So, I'm here to set the record straight.

I guess I can't really take full credit for my prank.  That goes to the boy who stole my phone and put himself in as "my conscience".   That was about as much as he did, and I quickly discovered that he was the perpetrator.  Being the copy cat I am I of course decided to do the same thing to an unknowing victim, but make it ten times better.

I had the perfect victim, Cassidy's roommate Sara.  Since she was Cassidy's roommate, we'd easily be able to get my number into her phone under the name My Conscience, AND Cassidy would easily be able to update me on her activity.  We covered our tracks well.  I had no voicemail set up, and we didn't foresee Sara ever asking for my number.

The day after we planted the name in her phone was Sunday.  Cassidy provided me with the description of one of Sara's favorite dresses and I went to work.

My Conscience: I really think you should wear the short sleeved red dress today.  It looks great on you!

Sara:  Um.. who is this, and how do you know about my dress

My Conscience:  I'm your conscience and as your conscience I know all about your life.  

Sara:  How did you get into my phone?  Who is this?  And anyway, I was really wanting to wear the blue and black dress today.  

My Conscience:  No you should stick with the red dress.  I promise, it'll attract the boys.

Immediately after receiving this text Sara tried to call me multiple times.

Sara: Why aren't you answering?!

My Conscience:  You can't actually talk to your conscience on the phone!  Do you think you have special privileges or something.  If you need something you can just text me.  Consider yourself lucky that you can even do that.

Sara: Tell me who this is!  You are so weird.

Sara then preceded to check if her roommates was the perpetrator, which of course they weren't.

That night I went and hung out with Cassidy, Sara, and a couple of boys in their ward.  While she was talking to a boy, I again decided to reach out to her.

My Conscience:  Did you know that your blushing right now?  

At this point Sara freaked out, and told everyone in the room.  The blinds were open so they looked outside to see if someone could be looking in the window.  Sara decided to call the number again, but my phone was on vibrate in my pocket and I was able to evade being caught.

Throughout the week Cassidy would text me and tell me some of the things that Sara was doing, and I would then text her.  Midweek I had what I thought was the greatest epiphany ever.  I should create a facebook page for dear Sara Smith's Conscience!  So that's exactly what I did.  Nothing like bombarding her through as much social media as possible to get her to freak out.  I'm fairly confident I accomplished my designs.

My first post after adding over 100 of her friends was:

Little did I know she had actually been debating going to class that day.  Turns out I was really getting ESP in regards to her thoughts.  

Once Sara caught wind of this page she really started to freak out.

As an explanation for the post directly above, I got her birth date wrong and put it for 6 days after her actual birthday.  

Sara continued to try her best to figure out who I was for 2 months by calling me or asking around to see if any  I think sometime around the one month mark she decided to just embrace the situation she was in realizing that she had a reliable friend who would always respond with some fairly decent advice.  She began to randomly text me and ask me for my sound advice.

Sara: Who should I date?

My Conscience: Jimmer Fredette (Keep in mind this was WAY before he was famous and still known as the back-up point guard.)

Sara:  (After looking Jimmer's picture up)  Ooh he is cute I approve.  How would you suggest I go about dating him?

My Conscience:  Well since you work for BYU broadcasting you should try and swing an interview for him.  

Several hours later

Sara:  Ooh, ooh look at the moon it's so beautiful!

My Conscience: What is it with you people and the moon?

I'd say that things were going pretty great at this point and I was feeling pretty good about my skills as a conscience.  Then one day while hanging out and laughing with some friends, my sister called me and told me that her boy had broken up with her.   Completely distracted by all that was happening, I picked up my phone when it rang again and distractedly answered the phone.  Suddenly I was being verbally attacked by a man who worked for the so called BYU police because the owner of this phone had broken some rule on campus (the details of the conversation are a bit hazy).  Since I wasn't even a BYU student I was notably confused and couldn't understand what on earth I'd done to invoke their wrath.  When they asked me my name I easily complied and told them who I was.  This was met by whoopings on the other line followed by Sara coming on the line to call me a stinker and all sorts of demeaning names.  Dismayed that my rouse had been found out in such a way , I cut the conversation short using the excuse that I had to rush to the side of  my dear sister.

Needless to say Cassidy and I were a bit downhearted that night.  Admittedly, her night was a bit worse, but hey, she went on to marry that same guy so it wasn't that bad of an ending for her.  And I ended up with bragging rights for a creative prank that landed me a friend instead of an enemy.