Sunday, July 24, 2011
Interesting Encounter
I'm so desirable. No really I am. If you don't believe me just ask the forty year old man who circled my car three times on his bike one day while I was getting out of my car. Just as I was about to head into my house he says "Excuse me miss, please tell me you're not married." I had a slight moment of hesitation trying to decide if I should tell the truth of my singlehood or lie to him and go through the repentance process later. I chose repentance. He gave a downhearted, "Oh Ok," and pedaled away. As I was walking away I couldn't stop wondering what he would have said had I said no. With such a bold question to begin with would he have proposed on the spot? Asked me to jump on his bike with him and ride away into the sunset? Or maybe he was looking out for his son and wanted to set us up. In the end this just means I should've listened to my shoulder angel.
Sunday, April 17, 2011
The Good, the bad, and the ugly
The Good:
My roommates and I successfully played our first prank of the year. With nine of us in one house you'd think that we would have done something sooner. Apparently we were all too lazy. Guess the cold does that too you. Anyway, I was the brainchild of said prank. We'd seen the movie Eagle with a couple of boys (side note it may not be worth the dollar to see). They'd left us a gift the week before after we watched it, so we decided to return the favor with this.. 
Can you tell that's a rat? We found it at Walmart for five dollars. It makes car noises. Pretty sweet. Anyway you'd have to see the movie to know what the jokes about. Just know it was really funny. Oh yeah and then we flossed their car.. in all black. Don't worry we were conspicuous. I was the guard and would whistle when people came close. In case you are wondering why floss one of the guys thinks it's gross if you don't floss at least three times a day. As such we gave him a lifetime supply.
The Bad:
I got the idea for the prank while reading my scriptures.. Apparently when I think my scriptures my mind drifts to Channing Tatum (he's the main character in the movie) and dead rats. I started laughing so hard I was crying.
The Ugly:
We found this car at Walmart parked a good mile away from the store. Of course we decided to park by it. That's what mature college students do. Unfortunately we got finished at the store before they did. We still felt funny.
And this.. gotta love roommates
Sunday, November 14, 2010
I'm Converted to the Orb Nation
I've done some pretty cool things in Provo (even if I can't think of anything off the top of my head). But this tops them all. Have you ever been to Rock Canyon Park? You remember those big hills that gives you a thrill when on sleds? Well I went down those hills in an orb.
So they strapped me and my roommate in the orb, sealed the ball and down we went. It. Was. Hilarious. I was laughing uncontrollably, all while rolling over, again and again, and again. Might I add that we were getting some pretty good air each time we rolled over. At the end when we finally rolled to a stop (thirty seconds later) I was laughing so hard I couldn't unstrap myself. This coupled by the fact that we had landed on our escape route made for some pretty amusing strugglings witnessed by my entire ward. Oh well. It was the one of the best rushes I had experienced, so I took it in stride.
What's an orb you're asking? This is an orb.
Sound terrifying? Crazy? Absolutely weird?
Try all three.
I'm a little, all right, a lot terrified of things like this. I used to pretend roller coasters made me sick so I wouldn't have to ride them, I wouldn't go on the crazy steep slide at Raging Waters until peer pressure got the best of me, and no one could ever get me to go down those water slides at Magic Waters. Because of this it might surprise you that I willingly volunteered myself.
The ONLY reason I had enough courage to go on was because I thought "How many people can say they've gone down a hill in an orb?" Also I made a pact with my roommate that we'd go down together and that sealed the deal. There's no turning back from those sorts of pacts.
So they strapped me and my roommate in the orb, sealed the ball and down we went. It. Was. Hilarious. I was laughing uncontrollably, all while rolling over, again and again, and again. Might I add that we were getting some pretty good air each time we rolled over. At the end when we finally rolled to a stop (thirty seconds later) I was laughing so hard I couldn't unstrap myself. This coupled by the fact that we had landed on our escape route made for some pretty amusing strugglings witnessed by my entire ward. Oh well. It was the one of the best rushes I had experienced, so I took it in stride.
So what are you waiting for? Go buy an orb today! Then invite me to ride with you.. you'll be my best friend forever.
Monday, July 26, 2010
My Perilous Journey
Dear McKay and Makana,
Yes, you are lucky enough to have a blog addressed to you. In order to appease your desires of hearing my written word I have decided to take you on a journey. This journey discusses my near death experience. Tears may be shed, so I warn you, please have tissues nearby.
When one is single and living in Utah one tries to think of things that only single people would want to do. One such thing, float down the Provo River. Now please don't be deceived by the fact that you have seen multiple families on the rivers. Those families just have parents trying to live their single years again.
Having decided to do this activity I got a group together and we set out. Earlier that day I had made a special effort to buy tubes so that I could use it the next time I went. What I got in return was a tube that was, well.. very small. In fact I imagine it was meant for a five year old. But I thought that as long as it helped me float it wouldn't matter if 85 to 90 percent of my body was in the water.
We got to the river and when I got in the water I began to think I had made the wrong decision on sticking with my tube as the water was not very pleasant. In fact on a scale on 1 to 100 in ranking the coldness of the river I would say it was around a 95.3. But with boys about it was not the time to declare my love for sitting in hot cars for two hours.. thus I dutifully jumped in.
From previous experiences I knew the first thing I would be encountering was a bridge. This bridge had acquired my hate ever since my first ride when it had knocked me off my tube and left me freezing the entire ride down. I was determined to not let the bridge get the best of me this time. I tried as hard as I could to steer myself perfectly under the bridge but instead ran right into the pole. My tube was whisked out from underneath me and down I went, right in a little gap between the poles of the bridge.
Before I continue let's get something straight by saying that I am not a fan of fast currents that are stronger than you. Nothing is exciting about being whisked about uncontrollably by water when there are rocks to be hit and you are at the complete mercy of the river. Well this time was no different. I was stuck under water by strong currents that were holding me in place in a little nook under the bridge (whoever engineered this bridge were not thinking of happy single tubers going down the river). I frantically tried to swim my way out, but I was completely powerless. After trying desperately to get out to get to the surface these thoughts went through my mind.
"I am going to die.. how odd is that? I always thought I was going to live a long life but I guess this is the way I am going to go.. But I really always thought I was going to live longer.. I really hope I go unconscious soon.. I don't want to be aware that I am drowning to death.. I hope mom isn't too upset about this.."
As you can tell I was surprisingly calm under water. I could see there was no way I was going anywhere and death to me was inevitable, especially since in every book I've read or movie I've seen when you are calm it just means that death is the next thing that is going to happen.
Just after giving up all hope I felt a rope. For some odd reason a rope under a bridge could only mean one thing to me.. there was a back exit to this nook! I quickly stepped over the rope and found my back against two wood slats. Barely having any room to manuever I crunched my body up and prayed that there would be enough room for me to squeeze by. I felt my body begin to squeeze through and I realized that it was going to work. I was actually going to live to tell the tale. The currents on the other side of the post quickly grabbed my protruding body and again I was whisked away.
Once I realized I was not going to die survival mode quicked in. I struggled frantically against the current so I could get to the surface to get oxygen that I so desperately needed. My head came above water and I was gasping for air. Once I got the oxygen all panic ensued.
"Help! Help me! HELLLLP!" Tanner had been searching for me and when he saw me come up he yelled and asked if I was ok, multiple times. Each time he asked I would scream "Help me!!!" People probably thought I was crazy but I didn't care. I had almost DIED, the river was still carrying me in deep water, and I still could not breath. Some strangers came by on linked tubes and I screamed help once more like a crazed fool and started to swim desperately toward them. They were kind to let me grab on as I started to gulp down air. They even swam over and got me my tube. I could see they were eager to be rid of me since really, who screams in panic like that on the provo river?
After floating a bit further on my dinky tube I could feel sweet, sharp rocks under my feet. I stumbled over to land to wait for my friends, survey the damage that was done, and try to not get hypothermia. I had lost Lexi's shoes (meaning I would be going barefoot the rest of they way and Lexi would soon know I had taken her shoes without permission), my headband, I had a gash on my knee and leg that had swollen, my neck and head had bumps on it from squeezing through the wood, and my head ached as I felt like I had swallowed gallons of water. But, I was alive.
Needless to say I will not be returning to that river anytime soon. From now on I will participate in fairly harmless activities like wading in the kiddie area at my local pool. Although the danger there is swimming in children's feces. Maybe I'll just stick to reading books about people's adventures.
Editor's Note: Lest you think I am exaggerating I'll have you know I had a friend there who was frantically trying to get me out. He was terrified and was sure I was a goner.
Yes, you are lucky enough to have a blog addressed to you. In order to appease your desires of hearing my written word I have decided to take you on a journey. This journey discusses my near death experience. Tears may be shed, so I warn you, please have tissues nearby.
When one is single and living in Utah one tries to think of things that only single people would want to do. One such thing, float down the Provo River. Now please don't be deceived by the fact that you have seen multiple families on the rivers. Those families just have parents trying to live their single years again.
Having decided to do this activity I got a group together and we set out. Earlier that day I had made a special effort to buy tubes so that I could use it the next time I went. What I got in return was a tube that was, well.. very small. In fact I imagine it was meant for a five year old. But I thought that as long as it helped me float it wouldn't matter if 85 to 90 percent of my body was in the water.
We got to the river and when I got in the water I began to think I had made the wrong decision on sticking with my tube as the water was not very pleasant. In fact on a scale on 1 to 100 in ranking the coldness of the river I would say it was around a 95.3. But with boys about it was not the time to declare my love for sitting in hot cars for two hours.. thus I dutifully jumped in.
From previous experiences I knew the first thing I would be encountering was a bridge. This bridge had acquired my hate ever since my first ride when it had knocked me off my tube and left me freezing the entire ride down. I was determined to not let the bridge get the best of me this time. I tried as hard as I could to steer myself perfectly under the bridge but instead ran right into the pole. My tube was whisked out from underneath me and down I went, right in a little gap between the poles of the bridge.
Before I continue let's get something straight by saying that I am not a fan of fast currents that are stronger than you. Nothing is exciting about being whisked about uncontrollably by water when there are rocks to be hit and you are at the complete mercy of the river. Well this time was no different. I was stuck under water by strong currents that were holding me in place in a little nook under the bridge (whoever engineered this bridge were not thinking of happy single tubers going down the river). I frantically tried to swim my way out, but I was completely powerless. After trying desperately to get out to get to the surface these thoughts went through my mind.
"I am going to die.. how odd is that? I always thought I was going to live a long life but I guess this is the way I am going to go.. But I really always thought I was going to live longer.. I really hope I go unconscious soon.. I don't want to be aware that I am drowning to death.. I hope mom isn't too upset about this.."
As you can tell I was surprisingly calm under water. I could see there was no way I was going anywhere and death to me was inevitable, especially since in every book I've read or movie I've seen when you are calm it just means that death is the next thing that is going to happen.
Just after giving up all hope I felt a rope. For some odd reason a rope under a bridge could only mean one thing to me.. there was a back exit to this nook! I quickly stepped over the rope and found my back against two wood slats. Barely having any room to manuever I crunched my body up and prayed that there would be enough room for me to squeeze by. I felt my body begin to squeeze through and I realized that it was going to work. I was actually going to live to tell the tale. The currents on the other side of the post quickly grabbed my protruding body and again I was whisked away.
Once I realized I was not going to die survival mode quicked in. I struggled frantically against the current so I could get to the surface to get oxygen that I so desperately needed. My head came above water and I was gasping for air. Once I got the oxygen all panic ensued.
"Help! Help me! HELLLLP!" Tanner had been searching for me and when he saw me come up he yelled and asked if I was ok, multiple times. Each time he asked I would scream "Help me!!!" People probably thought I was crazy but I didn't care. I had almost DIED, the river was still carrying me in deep water, and I still could not breath. Some strangers came by on linked tubes and I screamed help once more like a crazed fool and started to swim desperately toward them. They were kind to let me grab on as I started to gulp down air. They even swam over and got me my tube. I could see they were eager to be rid of me since really, who screams in panic like that on the provo river?
After floating a bit further on my dinky tube I could feel sweet, sharp rocks under my feet. I stumbled over to land to wait for my friends, survey the damage that was done, and try to not get hypothermia. I had lost Lexi's shoes (meaning I would be going barefoot the rest of they way and Lexi would soon know I had taken her shoes without permission), my headband, I had a gash on my knee and leg that had swollen, my neck and head had bumps on it from squeezing through the wood, and my head ached as I felt like I had swallowed gallons of water. But, I was alive.
Needless to say I will not be returning to that river anytime soon. From now on I will participate in fairly harmless activities like wading in the kiddie area at my local pool. Although the danger there is swimming in children's feces. Maybe I'll just stick to reading books about people's adventures.
Editor's Note: Lest you think I am exaggerating I'll have you know I had a friend there who was frantically trying to get me out. He was terrified and was sure I was a goner.
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